Wednesday, December 28, 2011

It's Not For Women FU 5: Guy Stuff


Charlie was nice enough to send a copy of the latest BMXFU Project over yesterday. What a great video for what seems to be a great scene. All edited in a way that brings a smile to your frostbitten face, Van Homan's banger from Criminal Bigchief also shows up for some unknown reason which made me laugh even harder. It seems to me that this crew is seriously amazing with their bicycles. Handrails are murdered, Craig Passero is a stand out to me, with more fire down stairs and set ups that made me rewind shit about four times. Truck to manual to 180? Yeah Craig makes BMX his bitch.
Shawn Swain is another name that is stuck in my head for being a rail assassin. Stoked to see more of this kid in the Cult video, "Talk Is Cheap". This video makes me super happy to be escaping the horrid East Coast winter and actually getting to ride my bike. If your into good quality footage from the FU Cam, or like a video with a fun vibe instead of banger, banger, banger, 13 year old in a tanktop flair clip, banger, pick up Guy Stuff right now. Charlie did a bang up job both in front and behind the lens, Charlie's hammersaw clip is so fucking rad, its worth the price of the video alone and a few Bong rips.
So with that being said keep in mind that everyone in the video kills, Lee Dennis is a pro. This DVD needs to be in every new and old shredders collection, with the entertainment value of an ECD video just not 7 hours long and with top of the line current riding FU5 is for you.
Here are some tunes to get baked or just chill out,maybe even headbang to: 
Album of the year right here:





Tuesday, December 27, 2011

CHARLES FUCKING BRONSON

Paul Kersey: Do you believe in Jesus?
Stomper: Yes I do.
Paul Kersey: Well, you're gonna meet him.
(Kersey then kills Stomper with his Beretta Cheetah pistol)
BRONSON LIVES!
AUSTIN HAS A DEATHWISH STARTING JANUARY 5TH. THANKS TO TRAVIS LOTECK FOR THE COUCH SPACE BROTHER!
Terror Tuesday Playlist:
GET PISSED....DESTROY!

Sunday, December 25, 2011

AM/CONDEMN DELCO BRAND PRESENTS: LEPROSY

Not your average crushed Holiday cookies, these are a tad magical I reckon that Satan(a) forgot whose hose he was at and dropped me off this massive back of cookies filled with some form of Lemon Kush I was told. I've been hanging out with Chuck Sheen on Mars for two hours now eating Baked Lays and worshiping the man who invented Swiss Farms Tea Cooler. I'm mailing some down with my bicycle and some Wawa iced tea since its the only thing that Austin happens to be slacking on..
Here is what is going down with the ever so low key Delco Brand....We are back kids!
Best two gifts ever, a one way ticket to Austin Texas, and a signed copy of George R.R Martin's A Dance With Dragons, Book Five In His A Song Of Fire And Ice series:

Still a wee bit lit from those delicious magical baked goods from our good old friend T.H.C. I hope all you dudes and your ladies got to visit your loved ones today, not because its expected of you, but because you actually want to. I worked 12am-8am yesterday, so at 8am I got home, couldn't sleep so masterbated while listening to Pig Destroyer-Phantom Limb. You women here in the Keystone State are super angry and mean toward me with headgames, the whole not being honest with someone you care about, friend, friend you wish were your girlfriend, and friend who you've wanted for years only when your about to tell them that you love them all over again after like 7 years and almost wanted to go with her idea of getting engaged, Great girl who I have been trying to duplicate that feeling of being wanted for more than some dude you can bang and chances are you will love it. Well its the truth. So I'm off to Austin Texas with a fresh outlook on who to trust in my life and the people who dig me for me. Getting to meet a few ladies on here who have been nothing but totally successful in helping me move from my Favorite City/Burbs on the East Coast, Philadelphia and Ridley. So yes in case you haven't put two and two together, I'm bringing back Delco Brand when I get down to Texas. Why re-start a clothing company that you only had to stop because we would've had to sell them for $25, these are going to be less classy and more THRASHY! Delco Brand Clothing is back with its Spring Line Called, "LEPROSY" if anyone would like to help with some 80's inspired bad ass drawings with the words Leposy on it with Delco Brand in the some Death or Black metal style font to go onto the sleeve or on the back of the shirt in Slime the words, PULL THE PLUG...DELCO BRAND CLOTHING. I can't pay you but I know that some of you painters and drawers out there can make this work! Help me bring back Delco Brand so I can start a team in Austin and up here and have excuses to go on trips. If you have a logo please email it to me at Satanlives1985@gmail.com I'll send you some t-shirts, videos, whatever you want, hell you can even make it your own signature shirt with your autograph on it. All it needs to say is "LEPROSY" on the front in Slime or something 80's and bad ass. with the words, "PULL THE PLUG....DELCO BRAN on the shoulder. This is what needs to happen, no more excuses. Especially in a new city!This is how sad I get when I can't get my Swiss Farms Tea Cooler on I'm prepping for Tastycake,Wawa, and Swiss Farms

VASTNESS AND SORROW!

Ok, I want to get this out in the open. Personally as a man with choices I chose to not like Christianity and all that goes with it, and when I make fun of you for believing in some dude with a beard who loved to get higher than Eddie Murphy in the 1980's.
BRILLIANT MAN! Before Dr. Dootlittle and its sequel.
Anyways I'm just not into the whole if I'm good I'm going to heaven thing. It reminds me of people like my youngest total jerk sister who shows no respect to anyone but still manages to kiss my fathers ass without him even knowing how just horrid she can be. Its a shame because the rest of my family are such chillers, I love em all. Even my Godmother Aunt Pat, her Husband Jack, and Jake who is killing it in college. I'm just high and ranting, hope ya'll had a dialed Holiday.
PS GOING AWAY PARTY/27TH BIRTHDAY PARTY TUESDAY JANUARY 3RD, I CAN'T SCHEDULE IT FOR NEW YEARS CAUSE I HAVE WORK AT 8AM AND I KNOW THAT KNOW ONE WILL COME CAUSE THEY PROBABLY HAVE PLANS TO LISTEN TO COLDPLAY AND MAKE OUT IN A CAR SOMEWHERE BEING A CHODE.

One more thing, I need a shed, backyard, floor, a couch would be heaven. I'm willing to pay some rent and plan on working and eventually getting my own place please email me if you can help a brother out. I'm not a dick, I use plastic forks and paper plates. I have OCD with taking trash out and I'm a chiller. If you can help in anyway just until I get on my feet I leave January 5th,2012 from Philly at 7:30am, have one stop in Houston and then its off to the greatest city in America with three plans, first things fucking last, after getting UPS to ship my BSD (speaking of BSD they just added one of my favorite street riders David Grant from the moment I saw him ride online on Malouf's computer I was blown away by the bike control, everything was like butter, and to top it off in my eyes alot of these newer kids who ride in Verizon Tanktop Shirts and go to the gym so they can take 900's to fakies on street. Sure its crazy, but to me as wild as it maybe FUCKING EW! I'd rather watch David who has awesome style. a great imagination and some sick rail moves session a ledge to drop since he murders everyone I've ever seen him ride) then off to Empire to say hi to the best dudes in the BMX World.

I pick up my bike and put it together really quick. I throw a purchased bike light and lock from Empire into the bag. Secondly I give Thomas Williams and Taylor fucking Brown(sick guy) a tip for helping me out and lunch at Wahoo's?
Last of all, I get to hangout with my friend Hannah and go job hunting, I'm mixing up my love for riding street to maybe finding work at fucking WHATABURGER! Hey its ca$h. But I would love to be a barback. I would kill it.

Only band I give a legit pass on the whole Christianity in Metal is TROUBLE because they fucking
rule. 
 I'm sure that if you have seen the mighty ANTHEM II then this tune will get you stoked on hitting some doubles
I hate all those Hot Topic Bands whom people think are all fucking edgy with their sideways haircuts, fish face Myspace/FB photos showing off their new lip ring, and tattoo they picked off the way of let me guess.... A NAUTICAL STAR! Oh maybe a lyric of a band I don't even like, I just think it'll make me look tough, Sorry to rant brother haaa. But honestly when it comes to Jesus and my music its a 98% no no, but bands like Woven Hand, and Trouble do it and its very its own vibe even if you know that deep down the songs are probably about Jesus which is corny to me, sorry but to each his or her own religious ladies and gentlemen on here, its cool if you believe in something that prevents you from eating a shotgun to the back of the skull each day. People need purpose, people need some sort of knowledge of whom they are, without that good sir, we might as well walk on all fours and say fuck off to our natural way of speak and just bang on stones when hungry and make gutteral sounds to speak to put ex Cannibal Corpse Vocalist Chris Barnes(TOMB OF THE MUTILATED =BRUTAL) to shame.
 
MORRISSEY! MORRISSEY! MORRISSEY!
 Can't believe this shit year known as 2011 is finally over in a few days.
KISS YOUR NERVES GOODBYE!
Movie of the week goes to Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn 
Format:VHS
Subject Matter: Awesome, if you haven't seen the second Evil Dead film chop your cock off with chainsaw that you now use as your weapon of choice since your hand went bad after a mishap with a Zombie head. 

Please rent this film on Netflix you future FUCKS.! Thank me later. No go have sex with your significant lady friend and have fun, I'll be here if you need an extra Penis. Haha. Fuck I can't wait to move, I hate being lonely.
I heard that like Jim Greco has a Deathwish and is total bad ass.
PUBLIC CASTRATION IS A GOOD IDEA.
SWANS IS STRAIGHT PUNISHMENT IN AUDITORY FORM, WHAT IS THERE NOT TO LOVE

My Mom Sure Does Know How To Shop For Me!


Saturday, December 24, 2011

Life is beautiful. Really, it is. Full of beauty and illusions. Life is great. Without it, you'd be dead." -Solomon

Yes even the saddest pot head in the U.K made some of the saddest yet best Christmas music my ears have ever been lucky enough to hear thanks in part to Jesu. I did a little write up on Justin and his many musical project.
I'm not a total Scrooge or hater of all things Christ related, even if I'd like to break his face with my right hook. I guess if people believing this dude with a cool beard and a bunch of crazy wacked out probably high on some crazy mystical Middle Eastern form of Peyote. But if the Holiday got a sad sap like Justin K. Broadrick (Godflesh, Jesu, Side A of Napalm Death-Scum, Head of David, Greymachine, Solaris Bc,Krackhead, Council Estates, Zonal.J2, and Final)

With a laundry list of remixes like the one below, whats not to love about Justin K.Broadrick? Someone get that man some Purple Trainwreck for Christmas you kids over the pond. I'm sure half of you have no idea who Justin Broadrick is and how mostly every band you probably listened to hell from Justin's love of SWANS I feel as if Nine Inch Nails-Pretty Hate Machine wouldn't have been made or as amazing as it is without Godflesh-Streetcleaner I could be wrong, hell I'm probably wrong but either way you should all probably listen to SWANS. Be safe tonight, its like National I'm Either Piss Drunk, Or In A Hurry To Buy My Son A Copy Of Battlefield 3 So I Can Ruin His Chances Of Ever Having A Social Life. Your XBOX Friends ARE NOT YOUR REAL LIFE BUDDIES. GO THE FUCK OUT SIDE, HAVE MORE FUN.
Chode rider, your desire!

Life is beautiful. Really, it is. Full of beauty and illusions. Life is great. Without it, you'd be dead." -Solomon
Ah see don't smoke weed kids, I lost my train of thought, back onto Jesu-Christmas before I get my Chick-Fil-A on!
 Anyways have a decent Holiday get wasted, hail Satan, and enjoy Jesu-Christmas with a nice X-Mas Dutch.
Fucking Brilliant leave it to Justin K. to get me to enjoy my first X-Mas song since that Bright Eyes Christmas record and King Diamond-No Presents For Christmas.

And yes props to you to Conor Oberst.

Happy Hollblaze Bitches!

This is just fucked!

Paul Rode has been on filming mission lately, here are some vimeo links to the damage he has been putting to the streets.
Craziest rail in Ridley-check.
Craziest gap to tree ride, to hillbomb-check.
Paul, awesome line at my favorite spot in Ridley.-check
And hey a clip of myself doing this scary, thread the needle gap to wallride down some stairs. Hit em wit it haha.
Have a good holidays kids. I'm off to Austin January 5th 2012.
And some tunes for X-Mas. I'll be working 12am-8am.
Get sick!
I'm sure y'all seen this by now.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

NOWISON Fuck Trends, After Being Semi Disgusted with Transworld BMX and their list of The 20 Most Popular BMX'ers in 2011 I felt Fucking Sick To My Stomach.

CHICKEN BONE NOWISON!

This Shake Junt joint got me just as stoked as the new Skavenger Video. Edwin kills it!
So yeah I got beef with Transworld, first things fucking last, MOST POPULAR RIDERS? WHAT IS THIS FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL, SO HERE IS IN MY UNBIASED OPINION (Even though the BSD team has some high honors here is my top 10 BEST not Trendiest or most popular list, fucksake! )No wonder Thrasher Magazine hates you Transworld Industries, and most kids would rather wipe their ass with a copy of BMX Plus! Who used to censor Little Devil ads back in the day, True story..
Some rainy day tunes for y'all! I'm about to start my own BMX Jihad article just because yes Alex Olson you may be a total jerk when it comes to BMX but I agree with you that the majority of us pedal around looking like total chode bags, but here are my twenty dudes n/h who make BMX what it is, aside from fun. These are the dudes who make bike riding look the way it should. Not flopping around like Mike Spinner got a hot dog up his bum and was trying to get enough speed on his chode spin 1080's to plop it back out of his bum and into a paycheck for more non flowing resi ramps to practice switch handed Iron Monkey's with Todd Lyons. So talk shit, agree with me I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. I'm lit, also click on each riders name to follow a link to a section or clips of theirs that if I didn't see in person well you need to teach your eyes how sick each and everyone of these dudes are. I sound like Adam 22 but after seeing the vast majority of these dudes ride in real life, or over the years, this is why they made my non Dig endorsed top 20 BMX'ers (NOT MOST POPULAR THIS IS BIKE RIDING NOT FUCKING PROM! Sorry Fat Tony, and the staff at Ride BMX. But Navaz doing Insight for you made me think, hey Ride U.S maybe sick now. I haven't bought an issue since. Hell I subscribed to Ride U.K before getting a chance to write for Dig, and your best cover of the year was Tom White just making up grinds. Be glad you have Jeff Z. to make your shit look correct or you'd be the BMX Plus! For teenagers under 15. So here is my top ten because a top twenty is a pure over kill of BMX and I'm not sixteen. Follow the links to watch footage!

1. Ben Lewis- My favorite shredder from Liverpool. A pure visionary on his BMX, Benny Lewis is street, and will destroy any set up/spot that he has his eyes on. I lived it.

2. Marv- Million Dollar Marv has had a good year, from getting his own signature Fit frame, to throwing the best barspins in the business. Marv to me is up there with Benny Lewis when it comes to smooth, amazing, imaginary street riding done right and with style. Cheers Marv! I've been a fan since Voices!

3. Van Homan -Yes he still is as big as a monster as ever before wait until you see some of the footage he has been clocking for an upcoming Fit Bike project in the near future. Seeing the Homan show in person when he quits being your friend Van and gets into filming mode is something I'm sure gave Stewart Johnson some more greys in his beard! I met Van in 1998 and he still is a huge inspiration and still gets me stoked every time he gets behind his handlebars. Plus Two By Four Store RULES. Best bike shop on the East Coast. Van is a good friend and a great bike rider/business man.

4. Niki Croft- After spending two weeks with Niki in Austin he not only proved to me how bad ass he is on a bike doing ten foot no hander airs at T-1 that would give Mat Hoffman a shred boner, and some of the best table tops in the game. When I was the only one to want to ride street in Austin Niki came out with me and ate a Bacon Milkshake! BEAST!

5. Tony Malouf- From editing, filming, to 360'ing off of garage roofs in broad day light followed by getting teammate Kriss Kyle proper fucked on Sailor Jerry's Rum and Swisher Sweets filled with Austin Texas' finest bud. Tony is a bad ass both on and off his bike, with original lines, and the style to back it up.

6. Mike Taylor- WAZZA'S MOST NOTORIOUS STREET ASSASSIN. Yes he will probably destroy your local hand rail both directions like he is on a mission and drink Keystone Ice down by the pool. Seriously three of my favorite moments of 2011 Mike had to do with two of them. Hell I ride Mikes signature frame from BSD the WZA so I trust it after seeing the Mike Taylor show in person, what a monster! Get well soon bud!

7. Chase Hawk- One of the best in the business, I'm sure Chase is on alot of peoples lists but I remember him being Fifteen years old and just knowing that Chase was no joke. Cannot wait for his Empire-Bad Idea section, and Cult-Talk Is Cheap. Hell he makes dropping in look good, and has the best 360's in the game.

8.Reed Stark- I've never once in my life met someone so young, with so much energy just murder every single rail in his site, Another BSD dude who is someone too look for in the near future. Ah to be young again! Reed is too good, and keep your ears and eyes open for the upcoming BSDVD which I keep hearing about! Sorry for making you sleep on the floor in Austin brother, my bad. Mike Taylor scares me! Bump to icepick to hop over was one of the best rail moves I've seen thus far this year from Reed.

9. Sean Burns- Anthem II, Sean is a pure ape on his BMX. I'm sure Crandall and Girard are still the OG apes, but Sean just is not scared of anything and has the skills to back it up. I could watch Burns ride all day and shit would never get old. WEARING JEANS AND LEATHER, NOT CRACKER JACK CLOTHES!

10.  Kriss Kyle- Yeah I threw in a curve ball, not because Kriss (watch the banger) is one of my favorite people to not just chill and ride with, I remember riding T-1 and just calling out tricks and he would bust them out. King of all things tech-gnar even with that Justin Beaver hair cut, I love this kid. He will flair anything, and make nac-nacs look fucking AWESOME. Sick guy, fucksake he even has a crab tattoo on his hand! One of the best ramp riders in the world. Wee man!

-TIE-
10. Justin Simpson- Ohio has had a shitload of talent over the years, but Justin/Lets Get Mystical In Its Entirity reminds me of a young Van Homan, meets 2001 era Brian Wizmerski. Manny's to backwards rails, up rail down rail, everything rail. Justin = Bad Ass. MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY!


-TIE-
10. Garret Reeves- HOLY SHIT was each word out of my mouth in his OSS Football DVD section and from some of his photos in Dig before his surgery I was more than impressed. What a monster, when I rode pegless my idiot friends (sorry not all of you) used to bust my balls cause I wasn't into doing feeble to 180 to Indian Givers. I'd rather go fast at wallrides and pedal grind shit. Watching Mr.Reeves ride to me feels like redemption in the best possible way, what a beast on a BMX. Dude is not scared and Sunday Bikes should be proud!

-TIE-
10. Adam and Garret Gulliams aka The Flying Ginch Bros: Some of the two nicest brothers I've ever met, from 24 packs of Busch, to watching Anthem II and riding T-1 every day. The Ginch's reminded me how fun BMX is and how rad FBM is. Airing too the moon, having a blast every night, and just being nice guys. Both brothers have their own distinct style but bring me back to watching Garret Byrnes and Geoff Slattery when they both shred, but just fully equipped to party and progress all while having a blast.
Here is Geoff just killing it!

Keep in mind this is just my opinion but if you want to start a shit storm be my guest.

So there you dicks have it, here are some rainy day tunes for y'all!
 
Dinner Time!

Friday, December 16, 2011

The Classics Aren't To Be Fucked With!

For more than one reason, but the one I want to speak of is shit to me that is a classic. Like watching Van ride a quarter pipe with a wall behind it. If said wall isn't up to the roof, chances are that Van Homan will barspin to icepick it. But one thing that will NEVER get old is watching the dude shred a quarter to wall set up. I first lived it in 1999 at Boards & Blades, and began doing my own a few years later. Always a treat!
Enjoy




Delco local Mike Devlin sent me this year end edit of himself to me over on Facecrook, kid is only in High School but is a rail boss. Peep this shit, and get your pegs on some rails!